Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
