whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize