Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
