she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
