Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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