well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
