Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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