He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
