Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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