I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
