it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
