At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
