Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
4 words: hood of his car
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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