so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
