How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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