I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The power of my boobs compel you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
