I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm too high and old for this...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize