To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
