did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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