my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
