I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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