When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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