yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
