i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You're like the curious george of whores
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
