roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
handjob tips. give me some.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
