Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm both gender and math confused
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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