I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
why is half of my head shaved?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
