I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
