forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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