He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
