do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
