So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize