ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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