Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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