What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
