i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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