The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
