but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and she was petting her beer can
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
