How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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