I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
