When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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