I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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