it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
