I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
