Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
