just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Couch. On fire.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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