I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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