Will you blow on my dice?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize