I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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