well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
