just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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