mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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