i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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