My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
