I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
