is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
