Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
