Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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