The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We need to rekindle our bromance
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
