i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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