distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
