we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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