My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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