You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think i got beer on your cat.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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