I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
