franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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