I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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