Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
