why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
